Yesterday I went out to have fun with a couple of friends and invited a girl friend I hadn’t seen in a couple of years to join us. She was late and arrived at the bar in which we were at just right when we had to move to another place for an event. She got a drink and instead of engaging in conversation and having a good time with us she was disconnected texting one of her friends in another city. I don’t remember going out with someone who spent all the time looking at their phone like that or who would choose to eat by herself in a table in an empty room when everyone was having fun eating and chatting standing up where the main event was taking place.
I realized that the situation was making me frustrated and stealing the fun away from me. I also realized that I wished she acted different or better yet, she hadn’t come with us. This is very dangerous because it means that I was judging the situation to a point that I was hoping for a different reality. When you hope for that “you lose, but only 100% of the times” as Byron Katie would say.
Then I remembered what Eckhart Tolle has said so many times -I wonder if he says this everyday- “Its not about the situation, it’s about the awareness within that situation”. From here, I tried to be aware of all my judgments that were keeping me grumpy and letting them go as they appeared. I ended up having an ok time.
Next time that a situation is stealing the joy away from you, be aware of what’s going on, let go of the judgments, stop acting like a helpless victim and see what more you can do with what you have.