My girlfriend broke up with me three weeks ago -thus blogging hiatus is over. It was the first time she was breaking up for no particular reasons, she just wasn’t in love and didn’t see a future together. It wasn’t what I wanted and we loved each other, so it wasn’t easy for her. Kudos to her integrity.
I needed more than “no particular reasons” -aka rationalization- so I did some introspection to find where I could have done better. I found these three reasons:
Lack of joy, enthusiasm, self-expression and adventure
Arrogance: talking as if I was right and she wasn’t –in a very unconscious way
Immaturity: a car accident, a speeding ticket, disastrously cutting my own hair, not having a paying job, etc.
Another previous ex-girlfriend would most likely nod if she read this. I’m connecting two dots and seeing a pattern. This makes my pattern even more real to me. I am sure I can articulate them even better than my ex-girlfriend. And of course I am, because this is the story I tell about myself.
Rejection usually is at least as much about the rejecter as the rejected. The real reasons why she left me are her story and have to do more with her than with me.