A couple posts ago I shared how this potential partner totally lost it trying way too hard to make me sign the agreement he wanted. If he had been more relaxed most likely we would be partners today, however, from all his bullying, I had no choice but to end up walking away.
The guy totally lost it, he was possessed by all his demons, he didn’t know what he was doing or saying. In summary, he didn’t own himself.
I am coming back to this because yesterday I talked over the phone to a girl who had reached out to me to do business together. I had done a bit of research on her before our call and really liked her. She was nice, smart, entrepreneurial and friendly. Plus she seemed warm, fun and really, really classy.
At the end of my call with her when she had suggested in a friendly manner to hopefully one day meet for a coffee I was all over the place. If she had lived in my city I would have arranged that coffee in a heart beat, but since she lives a few thousand miles away the situation was ambiguous for me. Flying to where she lives to meet her was way too much, not doing anything seemed like a stupid waste and the natural thing of leaving it open to the future didn’t seem sufficiently appealing to my controlling mind. In these circumstances I started talking nonsense and didn’t know what I was trying to do or accomplish anymore. Was I trying to set up a following meeting? To accept her suggestion to follow up with one of her colleagues? To do business with her? To arrange a meeting in person? To find a way to see each other?... chaos in my head…
This story has two “negatives”, two “positives” and one takeaway:
Negative one: I had created a huge story in my head of how perfect she would be for me that my imagination got the best out of me and I became very poorly articulated.
Negative two: As a consequence of number 1 I felt like I blew it.
Positive one: As soon as I hang up I was 100% conscious of what I had done. I held myself 100% responsible and acknowledged how I created the hole in the ground and how I jumped into it.
Positive two: She followed up with a nice email, so probably I didn’t sink as low as I thought.
Takeaway: hole in the ground or skyrocketing to success, I am the owner of my actions and responsible of the outcomes. The same way I screw up when my mind plays tricks on me I can not screw up by not letting my mind play these tricks on me.
Our actions matter, we are responsible, we make things happen one way or another, we can learn, we can change, we can be more relaxed, more trusting and not try so hard, we can ultimately live the lives we desire.
We can stop being the victimized training boxing bag of the stories that only exist in hour head and live a more joyful existence in which we feel we are in control through owning ourselves by acting from consciousness.